Why the hostility to refugees is getting worse and what can be done about it.

We have all seen the harrowing pictures on TV. The crying children, their desperate traumatised parents, the dead bodies on beaches, the hungry, the wounded, the sinking overcrowded boats, accounts of people screaming as they see their families drown around them, the huge no-hope refugee camps. We’ve all seen the suffering.

Yet rather than becoming more receptive to refugees the current climate appears to be becoming less so, with hostility growing around the world, new walls being built, border controls made stricter, boats slashed and pushed back to sea, the Calais camp flattened by bulldozers, and the innocent migrants of war, the victims, confused with their persecutors, accused of being terrorists, scapegoated for our societal ills, and kept out at all cost.  Rather than responding with mercy we appear to be responding by withdrawing our help, becoming indifferent or even by hating.

How can this be?

I think there’s a very inspiring and scientifically evidenced explanation. It has to do with empathy fatigue. It’s inspiring because as well as offering a clear explanation of what is going on – it also provides an uplifting solution for turning the tide.

To understand the explanation we need to distinguish between ‘Empathy’ and ‘Compassion’.  Both can now be measured using precise machines that measure brain activity. ‘Empathy’ is our capacity to ‘walk in someone else’s moccasins’. To see the world as they do. To relate to their suffering so deeply that it gives us real insight as well as an actual physical resonance in our own body as to how they must be feeling. This physical resonance has been measured in experiments. Subjects asked to empathise with someone who is suffering show increased activity in the parts of the brain that we now know correspond with suffering. Being empathic is therefore painful and difficult. Those that have been asked to become empathic during experiments for prolonged periods also report becoming fatigued, distressed, discouraged, and evasive and these ‘negative emotions’ are also seen on the brain wave measuring machines in the places in the brain where such emotions are experienced. The weariness experienced after a long endurance of such feelings has become known as empathy distress, or empathy fatigue.

In contrast ‘Compassion’, which can be defined as ‘unrestricted readiness and availability to help living beings’ appears to have very different effects on our brain’s activity. To be compassionate of course we first need to be able to be empathic. But what distinguishes compassion from empathy is that compassion also involves a motivation to act. It is this preparedness to act that makes it so different, and something apparent in its recordable effects in the brain. Far from leaving people exhausted and distressed the contemplation of what might be done leaves people uplifted and inspired. It is as if the empathic brain is stuck in the same prison as the person who is suffering, so suffers the same despairs, but the compassionate brain, having seen the suffering, works out what needs to be done and  is itching to go and do it – to help release the person from prison.Contrary to empathic distress, compassion is a ‘positive’ state of mind , which reinforces our inner ability to reach out to another who is suffering and to care better for them

There is now a growing amount of scientific evidence to substantiate this view. Pioneered by Richard Davidson’s research in his neuroscience lab in Madison Wisconsin and now replicated elsewhere (see here for a good article: http://info-buddhism.com/Empathy-Compassion-Neuroscience-Ricard-Altruism.html.) experiments have taken buddhist monks who have for years cultivated both empathy and compassion and plotted how their brain waves look for both states. They look quite different. Compassion includes empathy but it causes considerably more activity in the brain – indeed the first recorded experiment into Compassion found the measured gamma wave activity of the monks meditating compassion measured higher than any gamma wave activity ever before reported in the scientific literature about brain waves. Gamma waves are high frequency brain waves that underlie higher mental activity such as consciousness. Since the size of the gamma wave is related to the number of neurons flying around this was evidence for the cultivation of compassion causing massive far flung assemblies of neurons to fly about with what they found to be ‘a high degree of temporal precision’. The subjects cultivating compassion also showed patterns of brain wave activity in areas of the brain associated with positive feelings. This occurred even when the person was only just contemplating what could be done (which was all they could do in the experimental setting) let alone actually doing it.

So, in short, compassion by combining empathy with action is a shed load more pleasant and therefore sustainable than empathy alone. This suggests that compassion fatigue (which I have written about elsewhere on this blog) is a misnomer, what we should actually be concerned about is empathy fatigue, there isn’t really such a thing as compassion fatigue, compassion is actually uplifting and empowering, reducing fatigue and weariness.

So how does this all relate to the refugee crisis? When we slouch passively on our comfy sofas and encounter those awful images and accounts on TV the invitation, dictated by the form of this type of information delivery, is to empathise but not act. As we wearily dip once more into our empathy there is no opportunity for action. The item on the news is quickly followed without a pause by another item – perhaps another distressing image of suffering in a different context or we move straight to the weather or the sports results. No space is there for empathic feelings to develop and expand into compassionate ones. No opportunity to consider how we might help, or suggestion we might do so. As a result we end up having to cope day after day, night after night, with a difficult set of feelings that have no easy release. These build up over time. The news leaves us feeling drained, powerless, discouraged and perhaps not even wanting to watch it any more – empathy fatigue. I think this accounts too for why we are becoming more hostile towards refugees – more determined to keep them out. We end up blaming them for the powerless hopeless feelings they inadvertently invoke and that we want to keep out. Worse still we can end up hating them … and hatred is infectious.

But there is good news in all this.

And the good news is….

to allow ourselves to act.

There are many many ways to help refugees, both in this country, and abroad. Not everyone has the same style of compassion – some like to give money or other resources or to try and raise awareness about the issue, or to volunteer for one of the many charities helping refugees, teaching english, befriending, signposting, providing a cultural bridge and so on. Wherever we are and whatever we do there is some way we can help. Often it is close to our doorstep. It does not have to be a huge commitment. An hour a week can make a real difference to someone.By acting we convert our empathy into compassion, keep our capacity for empathy alive, and, as a delightful unsolicited side-effect – end up feeling loads better.

I saw an illustration of this at ‘the jungle’ in Calais. I was surprised to notice that although the suffering of the migrants in the camp was palpable and obvious most of the volunteers were walking round with gentle smiles on their faces. It wasnt that they didn’t care – quite the opposite -they had found a way to care actively and in doing so accessed the relief of that.

I am involved with a scheme in Oxford called Sanctuary Hosting. We  match hosts (generous people with spare rooms in their houses that they are willing to offer freely) with guests (homeless migrants). The scheme has been phenomenally successful, expanding dramatically over the past year and with many examples of deep generosity and successful compassion on the part of the hosts. It also supports the conclusions here. Many people when they applied to become hosts said they wanted to be involved in the scheme because they felt so helpless/powerless/ distraught by the refugee crisis (empathy fatigue). Once they become involved (compassion) I have lost count of the number of times that they have reported feeling uplifted enriched or expanded by the experience. Often they’ve been surprised at this. Yes they may be living alongside someone else’s ongoing suffering and they may be learning first hand about the appalling things that person has been through, not just in their home country but on the way to this country and also, sadly and ongoingly, once they arrive here. But alongside all this there is also a wonderful relief in knowing that, although they cannot take the suffering away, at least they can feel better about themselves because have been able to do something tangible to help.

We need to follow their example – of acting- in whatever way feels right for us. The important thing is to do something. If enough of us do this I am convinced the tide will turn again and we will start to see hearts and minds soften up around the world. Many of our hosts in the scheme have found that their neighbours and friends are glad of the opportunities to be  involved in helping the guests. Many of these friends have gone on to become hosts themselves…

Rather than confronting head on the lack of mercy in the world towards refugees we need to understand it. Those who have empathy fatigue can no longer cope unreactively with being reminded of the suffering of refugees. Confronting them about the plight of refugees is likely to make things worse – it risks stimulating the difficult feelings they are trying to avoid and setting up an evasive spiralling reaction of fear, denial, disbelief, aversion, righteous entitlement, hostility and so on. Instead we need to gently model a different way of doing things, one in which both individuals and whole communities take back the responsibility of actively caring for our traumatised brothers and sisters from overseas. We can demonstrate  not only that this is an effective and low cost solution (and there are many examples of this) but also that the process of doing it makes us all feel better. That way we can attract others to do the same and begin to erode their fear around encountering the suffering of others by demonstrating a joyful solution.

Just as hatred is infectious, so too is compassion.





Save our children’s memories.

There is a plan to build four four-bedroomed houses eight parking spaces and a garage on the left hand side of this picture right next to our lovely garden:

2016-05-17 10.48.52


They would be on the green belt and would endanger a rare site of special scientific interest below, here:

2016-05-17 10.52.48View of the special calcareous fen with many rare species. This is directly below the proposed development.

But around 100 people have already objected.

My objection follows and after that there are some guidelines in case you want to help by making your own objection (which doesnt need to be long and can take just a few minutes).

Wyon’s objection to the proposal:

Save our children’s memories.

Last spring, together with two small girls, I watched an orange tip butterfly laying eggs on some garlic mustard. It curled its vibrating tail as it delivered the next generation. Watching it we shared an absorbed stillness.

A few days later we noted the eggs hatching into caterpillars. Last week I saw a small boy playing happily here for hours, on his own with a polystyrene aeroplane, bending to pick it up from the dewy grass. Overhead a kite circled, calling into the wind.

A girl down the road has a home-made map of secret pathways along the bottoms of the gardens. The boundaries aren’t clear and we like it that way. There are dens in the woods around here where children play happily. They climb trees and explore. They splash in the stream and come home muddy, happy, and wholesome tired, having subliminally ingested the bird song.

These experiences are important. During the course of this campaign I have been struck by the number of older people who have shared treasured memories of playing here when they were young. For generations people have played here. There are tales of pigs kept in the woods, homemade wells, rope swings. My own son sat for many hours when he was little in a tree overlooking this site. We built a tree house around him. Throughout his childhood he brought friends to play in our garden (next to the site). I recall one of them, aged about 7, was initially frightened of the long grass because he had never been in any. When I proudly dug up some potatoes some of the children watching did not know what an unprocessed potato looked like.

I object to this proposal on behalf of our children. We want our children to grow up with an understanding of, and reverence for, nature. Such reverence doesn’t come from family trips to the park. It comes from getting close up and absorbed with wildness – often without parental input. It comes from laying down memories which will later inform a desire to value and look after the environment. Without this our cities will become ghettos in which children stay inside, alone with little screens and later become disconnected adults, no longer concerned to protect and value nature, or joyous in it.

Lye Valley is unusual for a city location. There are houses on one side of Lye Valley Road and long gardens opposite. That way we can weave the wildness into our city life. That way the city isn’t a place apart from the country but mixed in with it, preserving our connection and in the process developing community.

We think that in this respect it is something of a social experiment – a model for the future that challenges the assumption that cities need to become increasingly devoid of wildness and the countryside pushed further and further away, split apart, with fewer and fewer people living there. We are demonstrating that it is possible to live in a balanced way with nature, even in cities, and keep our children connected.

If this development goes ahead, we fear it will set a terrible precedent and one by one all the gardens will become developed and all the wildness will be lost for ever.

Just as the orange tip butterfly needs wildness in which to start the next generation successfully so do we. For this reason I object to this application and urge the council to say no.

How to make an objection if you want to help stop this development.

We’ve been advised that getting lots of individual objections in will have more influence than organising a petition. You don’t have to be a neighbour, as you have an option to comment as a “member of the public”. Deadline May 25th.  Numbers matter – no need to write a major missive (although you can if you want! Best to draft it first in Word or equivalent and paste in – the system can time out and lose your text otherwise), just another name logged will make a difference. So, if you would be up for adding your voice, here’s what you do:

Online You can register an objection on the Council’s planning website. It’s case number 16/00968/FUL  – here’s the link: http://public.oxford.gov.uk/online-applications/applicationDetails.do?activeTab=summary&keyVal=O5DAVBMFFW400

It’s quite easy, just a few things to note:
– You need to register on their system. If you signed a while ago, the system might not remember. If that happens, just re-register, it doesn’t take long (easier than fiddling around with requesting password reminders that might never materialise!)
– if it says your message has been truncated after you press submit, it’s telling fibs
– your objection won’t show up straightaway – earliest possible is the next working day, sometimes it can take a few days.

Post – if you want to avoid the computer route, you can write to the Planning Department, St Aldates Chambers, 109-113 St Aldate’s, OX1 1DS, making sure you include the case number (16/00968/FUL) and your name and address.

If you’re not very local to the area, one of the best things you can say is that you visit it and value its unique local character. If you sometimes walk (or run!) along the road, mention that too.

If you prefer to comment anonymously, this is possible.

More detail and background to the application: If you’d like to know a bit more about the site, and the planning context, have a look at some of the objections – particularly the one from  Friends of Lye Valley.

Finally, if anyone has experience of influencing planning decisions and has any pearls of wisdom to offer, do let me know!

Many thanks,




The sea has our souls

the sea has your soul
                                    stretching to an edge
                                         washing across sand
dragging back
                           skins of popping white bubblesssssssssss
                                              swish and glisten
               (and that's just the frothy side)
    the 'I's of our souls
     the mother
         time laden
            conception halls
              of our beginnings
                and our returns
                   inside out
                     outside in
                      never still
                        ebb and flow
                          here we go
                           back to the restless edge
                             crashing over the rock pools
                             kissing the high rocks with salt tears
                    carving caves beneath them
                                           eating rock
                                          ever active
                                         our souls
                                        never still                                                       
                                       how can that be?
                                      when peace alone                                    
                             must find its way to our
                                             peace alone   
                               are always on the move
                                                    never alone
                                                      all one
                                                     do not
                   for the sea has our souls

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