Eve, (revised with two extra verses)

Out of unconscious,
she defines herself –
a cell wall staking out a translucent edge
within, and against, the particle swirl.
And, by passing on, our line of life begins
splitting to the rhythm
of sun-beat, season, epoch…

Until, much changed,
we find places where the sea
sweeps up the steaming hardness
and crawl,
into the unknown…

Far down the line, a woman,
hair sweat-matted, waters broken,
doubles in tightest stretch and screams inside out
at the cutting edge of the long night
and our blood-slimy, mitochondrial, ancestor
inches onto the foot-packed mud,
and breathes her first air…

And we, her descendants,
cradling the ancient push for separation,
follow the arch of cliff against sea,
and cross over,
into a new unknown,
leaving the dark continent
of our birth…

And out across all continents on the maternal sphere.
We forage first her surfaces,
then cut skin to plant,
then break open her rock tombs of ancient deposits.
thirsty for the stolen fruit,
and hug our brief fires, and stare with growing alarm
at the wasting sun…

Perhaps then we find a way:
-delving deeper back into the particle,
testing the limits of time, and our understanding,
to launch our womb star-ships:
Up, up, away from Eden,
our children pass,
into space…


3 thoughts on “Eve, (revised with two extra verses)

  1. I think that the additional verses are an improvement. This is still a complex poem stuffed with Wyon and your POV. Is there any evidence that the sun is wasting or is this your long term future view of the inevitable cycle of life on planet earth? I am surprised that you left out the dinosaurs. They dominated the earth for 135 million years and must be an important step between the “crawl, flipper-clumsy, gills-straining” and the “woman, down the line”. Does this poem stem from optimism or pessimism – it seems pessimistic, or does it matter?

  2. I think it is more scientific than POV, life begain in the sea, emerged onto land, we have a common matrileneal ancestor, later we left africa and circluated the world, the sun is gradually using up its fuel and will eventually expand and destroy the earth in about a billion years time. You are right about the dinosaurs but I am intending to enter the poem in a competition which you might be interested in: http://www.poeticrepublic.com/ and the maximum length for entries is 42 lines. so the dinosaurs suffered. I guess I could have 8 stanzas of 5 lines each, rather than 7 of 6, but that would be a fair bit fo cutting. Besides I dont think our line goes through the dinosaurs – but rather through mammals.

    • Also not sure if it is pessimistic or optimistic – I wasnt really pitching for either – just wanting to put us in context and to comment on the urge to evolve, explore and separate, and the interesting fertility where different elements/surfaces interface

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